Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
