Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
