Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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