I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
