It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
