is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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