Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
