DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
