Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize