This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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