at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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