Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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