Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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