dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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