Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
