Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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