Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
