nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I have post one night stand depression
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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