ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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