forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
