that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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