It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize