M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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