I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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