I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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