I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
