also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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