I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
