I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
