i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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