I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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