I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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