we're blogging at a bar
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
