"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
