OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize