dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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