She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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