I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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