bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
