your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Everclear isn't food dammit
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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