last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
