okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
