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Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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