i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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