You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
