What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
