oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
