Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
