Pants 0. Shit 1.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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