my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
