I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
