i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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