so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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