i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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