Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
