Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
