Kiss
Puke
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
