Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dicks are not precious.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
