well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
